So I went home for 3 months and thought that when I arrived back I wouldn't have a culture shock.
I was wrong.
China is batshit crazy and I forgot that.
So to highlight the kind of things that can (and by can I mean did) happen I'll tell you a little story:
One day a happy little mouse fell in love with another mouse and they liked each other very much, then the boy mouse went out to a nightclub with the girl mouse and realized she was a sociopath and ran away from her.
Because he'd been drinking happy mouse juice he lost his phone and this made the mouse sad, but apart from being sad it also meant that he couldn't phone anyone or use WeChat without Wi-Fi or use ANY of the accounts associated with his phone number because he has a new handset and the accounts know this and so want to send confirmation messages to the old number.
The little mouse then left his bank card in the bank machine (I know, right), which was silly and all his friends said 'ohhh that was silly little mouse', then he realized it was Golden Week and that all the banks were closed and all his friends said 'Oh oh!' you'll have to wait till Monday silly mouse', and then the little mouse wished he'd taken more then 100RMB out (seriously who does that?).
Monday comes and the banks open and our plucky little soldier trundles along to the bank and very quickly realizes that his Visa is being processed and so he doesn't HAVE his passport and HOW THE ACTUAL FUCK would he expect to get a replacement card or money or ANYTHING in China without it?
Our little mouse has to wait for days and days and days until the passport comes back and then and only then can he get his bank card and any money and a sim card for his phone and so access to his accounts.
Moral of the story: China is batshit crazy, so do not lose your phone.
I was wrong.
China is batshit crazy and I forgot that.
So to highlight the kind of things that can (and by can I mean did) happen I'll tell you a little story:
One day a happy little mouse fell in love with another mouse and they liked each other very much, then the boy mouse went out to a nightclub with the girl mouse and realized she was a sociopath and ran away from her.
Because he'd been drinking happy mouse juice he lost his phone and this made the mouse sad, but apart from being sad it also meant that he couldn't phone anyone or use WeChat without Wi-Fi or use ANY of the accounts associated with his phone number because he has a new handset and the accounts know this and so want to send confirmation messages to the old number.
The little mouse then left his bank card in the bank machine (I know, right), which was silly and all his friends said 'ohhh that was silly little mouse', then he realized it was Golden Week and that all the banks were closed and all his friends said 'Oh oh!' you'll have to wait till Monday silly mouse', and then the little mouse wished he'd taken more then 100RMB out (seriously who does that?).
Monday comes and the banks open and our plucky little soldier trundles along to the bank and very quickly realizes that his Visa is being processed and so he doesn't HAVE his passport and HOW THE ACTUAL FUCK would he expect to get a replacement card or money or ANYTHING in China without it?
Our little mouse has to wait for days and days and days until the passport comes back and then and only then can he get his bank card and any money and a sim card for his phone and so access to his accounts.
Moral of the story: China is batshit crazy, so do not lose your phone.