And I thought it was hectic leaving last year...
I am heading downtown as I do most weekends, this time to say goodbye to friends, one of whom has let me use her flat countless times and been a good friend in many a time, good and bad, and her friend Flo who has become a fast friend too in the last year.
During the journey the police send me a message 'Hi I'm the police, come to police station with passport tomorrow'
This Police Station is far away from where I am going.
#ffs
I say no problem he asks what time I'm free and says they can come to my place, I explain I'm downtown so it will be in the afternoon, he's ok with that and says in that case I should to to police station.
Upon arrival downtown it's pissing down and the entrance to the subway is full of Chinese people all scared of the rain, I'm carrying a picture frame that I have promised Vanessa (I plan to bring another one tomorrow now that I have to do a return visit to say goodbye to Vanessa) so pop that over my hear as a make shift umbrella.
I have been coming to Vanessa's for the last 5 weekends and it's been boiling hot everyday so I bring light clothes and few of them, and most of my clothes are now packed, another fun job I've been doing over the last few days, so I'm in blue trainers, jeans and a t-shirt and have nothing else.
My shoes are soaked and the idea of going out does not appeal, so I iron my shirt dry, throw on one of Vanessa's jackets, pick up her umbrella and head to Flo's place stopping only to pick up beer n wine.
Even wetter still once I arrive Flo gives me a change of clothes and we order pizza and watch The Wall, no not the Pink Floyd one (give it a watch it's interesting).
I've discovered a pizza called The Caprese Cold, warm base, cold tomato and artichoke on top, amazing.
In the morning I head out for my normal omelette and Americano at Le Comptoirs and then head back to Vanessa's, she said she'll be back on the 12th, Flo being German and knowing Vanessa's a creature of habit insists that means she's flying Lufthansa and will arrive, all being well at 11-11:30, I want my stuff out of her flat when she arrives so dart back in time to get out of dodge and head back to TongZhou to get to the cops.
I am running low on battery and quickly message the police to get the address for a taxi.
Subway.
No battery.
Boring.
Home, plug phone in, do a bit more packing. The policeman informs me he's left the station。
#ffs
I care not that he maybe the only one that speaks English, If I show them my passport, they'll get the idea.
NOT FUCKIN SO.
Upon arrival at the station, not only is there no electricity in the police station (srsly?), but they have no idea why I'm there, I call my colleague to translate and they still have no idea, she says go home and they'll call back.
As I'm walking out the station a police man walks in points at me and says BaiHeWan, Yes that's me! I'm BaiHeWan (it's the name of my building).
I show him all my papers and point out the end date on the Visa, but say, and this is where it gets really fun...
'It's ok I'm moving to Taiwan on Tuesday', to hammer home the point that I don't need a visa I say, 'I'm leaving China.'
Yeah, I said that.
Yeah in the police station.
'But Taiwan IS in China!' he says
And I laugh a little laugh and cry a little inside. And they all laugh and it's all ok and I leave as quickly as is humanly possible.
This happened less than 24 hours after Dad and I had a conversation about The West Wing and the episode with the Taiwan flag.
I jump on a 522 bus, not entirely certain it's going in the right direction, but it was, I get home pick up a change of clothes, the second picture frame for Vanessa and head back to civilization.
Somewhere around line 2, I'm on an escalator and the picture frame, loosened by me picking it apart and putting it back together to take my picture out gives out and slips and hits the escalator smashes into pieces and I can only stand and I watch shards of glass slide down the escalators to unsuspecting riders beneath me.
It's still only Saturday morning.
I pick up what I can and place it on a banister, kick the shards that accompany the people coming up the escalator away, I woman that works there comes up to me, I point at the mess and say OK?, she says OK, and I walk away.
Bask to Vanessa's, as Flo is away on his bike ride, and no sign of her so I have quick siesta and wait.
Flo gets back and we agree to meet at the usual place for coffee in 20 mins.
I tell me police station/Taiwan story to Flo who is buy now no stranger to my amusing incidents and rolls his eyes and shakes his head and laughs a hearty laugh.
We enjoy a lovely Americano and salted chocolate chip cookie.
The rain has abated slightly and we decide food and entertainment to be sorted, nothing on at the cinemas so we head to Wagas for Thai green curry and healthy juices.
After that, a beverage! Yes lets go to the favourite bar for people watching and get a beer, as we walk close we notice that it, and several surrounding bars have been not just closed but torn down.
At this point I'm beginning to be really glad that I'm leaving China in a week.
Vanessa messages and says she'll be arriving at 2am we can do a late lunch tomorrow.
Flo and I head to a Mexican restaurant where we think a small bowl of nachos will fill a hole and we can have a few beers.
The nachos were a meal for two and far too much, but we soldiered on.
We drank tequila and beer and put the world to rights.
Back to Flo's with wine we decided on Security a film with Ben Kingsly and Antonio Banderas starring, that's a built in recommendation right there right?
Not a bit of it, bloody awful. Worst 'Die Hard' rip of ever and it's not even a Christmas movie.
Sunday morning swings by and we head out to Le Comptoirs again for the usual.
We head back to the flat to have a lazy day listening to German radio, while Flo cleaned and as we wait for Vanessa to wake up so we can have late lunch, I plan my last 6 days on the mainland, which ended up looking like this.
* Sunday night: pack
* Monday: work (and by work I mean write this), pack, skate and move stuff to a friend's flat - thanks Yamid.
* Tuesday: work (make sure they pay me everything), meet estate agent and flat owner to get deposit back, out for leaving meal with colleagues, fully decamp to the friend's flat.
* Wednesday: find, what I'm told is, best breakfast in Beijing, meet Joseph for coffee downtown, go to Caravan to meet Badr and Emilio (my wine guy - of course I had a wine guy and he was Spanish) to say goodbye.
* Thursday: ManniPeddi (wanna look and feel good hitting Taiwan) then goodbye pizza and wine with Flo and Vanessa at La Dolce Vita - best pizza outside of Italy IMHO.
* Friday: Last Mobike round The 'Jing and take photos and them meet Yamid and Vivienne at 798 for final last meal.
* Saturday: Yamid drives me to the airport Bye Bye BeiJing
I finish writing this and a nail a crossword or two, slurp a coffee and a beer and by 4 bells no sign of Vanessa, we message and she has to wait for internet guy as her Wi-Fi isn't working.
We wait.
And then say sod her and leave.
She messages as we order our burgers and says she's on her way.
She messages again and says her bike has a flat.
We order for her.
We wait, she messages again, she fell in a puddle and had to go home and change.
We wait.
She arrives and about 15 minutes later I have to leave to get back to TongZhou and start on that list.
I pack for the third time, oddly enough I have more space than I'd anticipated and might get all my juggling equipment with me, this makes me happy.
I watch some more WestWorld and, as is my wont, drink a bottle of red.
I sleep a deep and peaceful sleep.
I am heading downtown as I do most weekends, this time to say goodbye to friends, one of whom has let me use her flat countless times and been a good friend in many a time, good and bad, and her friend Flo who has become a fast friend too in the last year.
During the journey the police send me a message 'Hi I'm the police, come to police station with passport tomorrow'
This Police Station is far away from where I am going.
#ffs
I say no problem he asks what time I'm free and says they can come to my place, I explain I'm downtown so it will be in the afternoon, he's ok with that and says in that case I should to to police station.
Upon arrival downtown it's pissing down and the entrance to the subway is full of Chinese people all scared of the rain, I'm carrying a picture frame that I have promised Vanessa (I plan to bring another one tomorrow now that I have to do a return visit to say goodbye to Vanessa) so pop that over my hear as a make shift umbrella.
I have been coming to Vanessa's for the last 5 weekends and it's been boiling hot everyday so I bring light clothes and few of them, and most of my clothes are now packed, another fun job I've been doing over the last few days, so I'm in blue trainers, jeans and a t-shirt and have nothing else.
My shoes are soaked and the idea of going out does not appeal, so I iron my shirt dry, throw on one of Vanessa's jackets, pick up her umbrella and head to Flo's place stopping only to pick up beer n wine.
Even wetter still once I arrive Flo gives me a change of clothes and we order pizza and watch The Wall, no not the Pink Floyd one (give it a watch it's interesting).
I've discovered a pizza called The Caprese Cold, warm base, cold tomato and artichoke on top, amazing.
In the morning I head out for my normal omelette and Americano at Le Comptoirs and then head back to Vanessa's, she said she'll be back on the 12th, Flo being German and knowing Vanessa's a creature of habit insists that means she's flying Lufthansa and will arrive, all being well at 11-11:30, I want my stuff out of her flat when she arrives so dart back in time to get out of dodge and head back to TongZhou to get to the cops.
I am running low on battery and quickly message the police to get the address for a taxi.
Subway.
No battery.
Boring.
Home, plug phone in, do a bit more packing. The policeman informs me he's left the station。
#ffs
I care not that he maybe the only one that speaks English, If I show them my passport, they'll get the idea.
NOT FUCKIN SO.
Upon arrival at the station, not only is there no electricity in the police station (srsly?), but they have no idea why I'm there, I call my colleague to translate and they still have no idea, she says go home and they'll call back.
As I'm walking out the station a police man walks in points at me and says BaiHeWan, Yes that's me! I'm BaiHeWan (it's the name of my building).
I show him all my papers and point out the end date on the Visa, but say, and this is where it gets really fun...
'It's ok I'm moving to Taiwan on Tuesday', to hammer home the point that I don't need a visa I say, 'I'm leaving China.'
Yeah, I said that.
Yeah in the police station.
'But Taiwan IS in China!' he says
And I laugh a little laugh and cry a little inside. And they all laugh and it's all ok and I leave as quickly as is humanly possible.
This happened less than 24 hours after Dad and I had a conversation about The West Wing and the episode with the Taiwan flag.
I jump on a 522 bus, not entirely certain it's going in the right direction, but it was, I get home pick up a change of clothes, the second picture frame for Vanessa and head back to civilization.
Somewhere around line 2, I'm on an escalator and the picture frame, loosened by me picking it apart and putting it back together to take my picture out gives out and slips and hits the escalator smashes into pieces and I can only stand and I watch shards of glass slide down the escalators to unsuspecting riders beneath me.
It's still only Saturday morning.
I pick up what I can and place it on a banister, kick the shards that accompany the people coming up the escalator away, I woman that works there comes up to me, I point at the mess and say OK?, she says OK, and I walk away.
Bask to Vanessa's, as Flo is away on his bike ride, and no sign of her so I have quick siesta and wait.
Flo gets back and we agree to meet at the usual place for coffee in 20 mins.
I tell me police station/Taiwan story to Flo who is buy now no stranger to my amusing incidents and rolls his eyes and shakes his head and laughs a hearty laugh.
We enjoy a lovely Americano and salted chocolate chip cookie.
The rain has abated slightly and we decide food and entertainment to be sorted, nothing on at the cinemas so we head to Wagas for Thai green curry and healthy juices.
After that, a beverage! Yes lets go to the favourite bar for people watching and get a beer, as we walk close we notice that it, and several surrounding bars have been not just closed but torn down.
At this point I'm beginning to be really glad that I'm leaving China in a week.
Vanessa messages and says she'll be arriving at 2am we can do a late lunch tomorrow.
Flo and I head to a Mexican restaurant where we think a small bowl of nachos will fill a hole and we can have a few beers.
The nachos were a meal for two and far too much, but we soldiered on.
We drank tequila and beer and put the world to rights.
Back to Flo's with wine we decided on Security a film with Ben Kingsly and Antonio Banderas starring, that's a built in recommendation right there right?
Not a bit of it, bloody awful. Worst 'Die Hard' rip of ever and it's not even a Christmas movie.
Sunday morning swings by and we head out to Le Comptoirs again for the usual.
We head back to the flat to have a lazy day listening to German radio, while Flo cleaned and as we wait for Vanessa to wake up so we can have late lunch, I plan my last 6 days on the mainland, which ended up looking like this.
* Sunday night: pack
* Monday: work (and by work I mean write this), pack, skate and move stuff to a friend's flat - thanks Yamid.
* Tuesday: work (make sure they pay me everything), meet estate agent and flat owner to get deposit back, out for leaving meal with colleagues, fully decamp to the friend's flat.
* Wednesday: find, what I'm told is, best breakfast in Beijing, meet Joseph for coffee downtown, go to Caravan to meet Badr and Emilio (my wine guy - of course I had a wine guy and he was Spanish) to say goodbye.
* Thursday: ManniPeddi (wanna look and feel good hitting Taiwan) then goodbye pizza and wine with Flo and Vanessa at La Dolce Vita - best pizza outside of Italy IMHO.
* Friday: Last Mobike round The 'Jing and take photos and them meet Yamid and Vivienne at 798 for final last meal.
* Saturday: Yamid drives me to the airport Bye Bye BeiJing
I finish writing this and a nail a crossword or two, slurp a coffee and a beer and by 4 bells no sign of Vanessa, we message and she has to wait for internet guy as her Wi-Fi isn't working.
We wait.
And then say sod her and leave.
She messages as we order our burgers and says she's on her way.
She messages again and says her bike has a flat.
We order for her.
We wait, she messages again, she fell in a puddle and had to go home and change.
We wait.
She arrives and about 15 minutes later I have to leave to get back to TongZhou and start on that list.
I pack for the third time, oddly enough I have more space than I'd anticipated and might get all my juggling equipment with me, this makes me happy.
I watch some more WestWorld and, as is my wont, drink a bottle of red.
I sleep a deep and peaceful sleep.